


i still see your shadows in my room

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Break Up, Langst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Post-Break Up, keith has left for the blade, klangst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-26 15:27:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15666000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When Lance woke up, he swore he felt Keith lying next to him in their shared bed. He reached out yawning, about to cradle Keith from behind, only to grasp at thin air. After a moment of confusion, Lance remembered that Keith was gone, and had been for some time. He felt like an idiot.Keith and Lance try to maintain a long distance relationship when Keith leaves for the Blade of Marmora. Unfortunately it all crumbles apart.





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> ok this actually did very well surprisingly lol so im gonna be adding more chapters!!
> 
> will be updated in a few days :)))))

When Lance woke up, he swore he felt Keith lying next to him in their shared bed. He reached out yawning, about to cradle Keith from behind, only to grasp at thin air. After a moment of confusion, Lance remembered that Keith was gone, and had been for some time. He felt like an idiot.

 

_I still see your shadows in my room_

 

Lance chalked the whole incident up to morning tiredness and shook it off, reaching across the spot that Keith _should_ be fast asleep on and grabbing his phone to see what time it was. Pidge had made each of the paladins a device that had a stimulated time running on it, so they could get a sense of time in space and thus have a normal daily routine. It also doubled as a way of communicating with one another, as well as being able to take pictures, videos and do a million other things like being able to play games Pidge had created. Speaking of, Lance was still stuck on level three of that stupid game Pidge invented that was essentially Super Mario Bros. He made a mental note to reattempt it later.

It was five am, which meant he still had an hour until he was supposed to be eating breakfast. Before Lance would comprehend what his fingers were tapping on, he realised he had opened his contacts list and was staring down at Keith’s name.

 

_Can’t take back the love that I gave you_

Lance couldn’t help scrolling up a bit and reading through their past messages. Lance did this almost everyday, he couldn’t help it, it had become ingrained in his everyday routine. He knew that there’d be no new messages, he wasn’t stupid, but he couldn’t help reminiscing over what they once had.

When Keith decided to leave for the Blade, Lance tried to be supportive. He completely understood why Keith needed to go. Keith needed to discover who he was, and he needed to come to terms with his past. The Blade of Marmora was connected to his mother, so of course Keith wanted to join. And especially now that there was one paladin too many, it made perfect sense, Keith had said.

Lance remembered feeling guilty, questioning Keith if one of the reasons he was deciding to go was because of what Lance had confided to him in the secret of their bedroom one night. That he had whispered with tears in his eyes, that he felt he should step down, as Shiro would want black, Keith would want red back and Allura blue. Keith had held him close, rubbing circles in his back and told him over and over again that he was irreplaceable to the team, and irreplaceable to him. Keith had told him not to be silly, he was leaving for himself  and only himself and made Lance promise to call and text every day. Lance swore with a kiss pressed softly to Keith’s lips.

Lance could see they made a fair attempt at the start, from calls and text every day for a month straight. He could slowly see the decline overtime from daily, to every few days, to weekly, to monthly, to eventually their final texts.

 

_ KeithK: I miss you _

**LanceyLance: ik you’ve only been gone a day but I miss u too**

_ KeithK: everything is quieter here without u, thank god _

**LanceyLance: hey!! B( not cool**

_ KeithK: im jking and are those supposed to be sunglasses? _

**LanceyLance: yup hehe**

_ Keithk: why? Just why ? _

**LanceyLance: cos im cool B)))) hence the shades**

_ KeithK: why do I like u? _

_……_

**Lancey Lance: hey keith sorry I missed ur call, was on a mission** **☹**

_ KeithK: that’s ok Lance, I was only able to talk for a short time, u free now? _

**Lancey Lance: anything for u keef :33**

_ KeithK: I told u to stop calling me that!! _

**LanceyLance: never! Omg btw youll never believe what coran said to hunk today lol**

_ KeithK: aha what did he say? _

_……_

_ KeithK is calling  _

_ KeithK tried to call you _

_ KeithK: hey Lance, im guessing your busy rn but we haven’t spoken in a few days so idk call me? _

**LanceyLance: keith keith im here sorry was at a meeting ew**

**LanceyLance: ok ur not answering so im guessing your busy now ughhhh** **☹**

**LanceyLance: I’ll call you tomorrow ok night night miss you xx**

_……_

**LanceyLance: hey keith its been a while are u ok? I’m getting worried?**

**LanceyLance is calling**

**LanceyLance tried to call you**

**LanceyLance: just pls pls call me when u get the chance ok**

**LanceyLance: keith???**

_……_

_ KeithK: hey Lance, only saw this now sorry I’m just back from a two week mission, we were gathering some intel and it ended up taking longer than expected.I’m so so sorry  _

**LanceyLance: Keith ur ok I was so worried!**

**LanceyLance: im still mad at u tho for giving me so much stress**

_ KeithK- sorry, im gonna call u that ok? _

**LanceyLance: ofc**

Lance knew that that was their last call ever, but everytime he reread that message he still felt the same pain he had felt the first time he realised that had been the last time they talked. It hurt like hell every single time. The rest of their log showed sporadic texts here and there, a few missed calls and then it reached their final text conversation.

**LanceyLance: the last time we texted was a month ago**

**LanceyLance: that’s not ok keith, we’re a couple we should be texting and calling every day that’s what we promised. I knew it’s been hard for both of us with the missions, and time differences and everything but I think we need to make more of an effort if we want this to work.**

**LanceyLance: I sent that 2 days ago and u haven’t answered this is what im talking about!**

**LanceyLance: keith pls answer**

_ KeithK: hey Lance, I’m sorry im only seeing this now fuck. We’ve both been so busy, we’ve barely been talking to each other. I’ve put a lot of thought into this and I think we should gibe this whole long distance thing a stop, it’s too hard and causing both of us too much pain, I’m so sorry. I’m  breaking up with you, I  think we need to focus on our individual missions, we are fighting a war and can’t let our selves get distracted _

_ KeithK: fuck that was so hard to say im so sorry can I call you? I want to talk to u  _

**LanceyLance: no keith u can fuck off and leave me alone**

**LanceyLance: don’t contact me again**

And that was it.

 

_It’s to the point where I love and I hate you_

At the beginning he felt blinding white anger- at the universe, at life, at Voltron and the Blade and at Keith. Eventually the anger simmered down and he became hit with the realisation at what he had lost, and suddenly he wallowed in sadness and grief, mourning for his lost love. He was unable to focus, couldn’t fight or shoot and wouldn’t talk to any one. The other Paladins were concerned and did their best to help their Sharpshooter heal, while simultaneously fighting the Galra, and worrying about how their other friend was holding up, all alone, a million miles away.

A few months had passed and Lance was doing better. He knew he wasn’t over Keith, and was unsure as to if he’d ever be but at least for now he was ok and that was all that mattered. Lance knew now he was also at fault here. It took two people to make a relationship work, and it felt like he and Keith had failed, had given up too easily and lost one another.

 Lance quickly exited the contacts app, and checked the time realising an hour had passed and he should head down for breakfast. He hopped out of bed, placed his feet into his Blue Lion slippers (he was the red paladin now, but he still preferred to wear the blue ones as they matched this pajamas) and headed to the kitchen.

 

 


	2. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith unexpectedly returns, and Lance is forced to re-feel all the pain he felt when Keith broke up with him.

When Lance arrived at the kitchen, Pidge and Hunk were there chatting quietly to themselves by the counter. They seemed to be talking as if they wanted no one to hear them. Hunk noticed Lance first, and loudly said, “Lance! Didn’t see you there, how are you?”

Lance could sense hints of concern in Hunk’s voice. While he appreciated that Hunk was obviously still concerned about the whole Keith situation and was just looking out for him, Lance wished that Hunk would just talk to him normally, like he used to, and not as if he were broken or something.

“I’m good, what are you guys talking about?”

“Oh, umm” Hunk said slowly, glancing at Pidge with hesitation, “Lance, you might wanna sit down for this.”

Lance was immediately nervous, it was unlike Pidge and Hunk to act like this. He raised his eyebrow and walked over to the counter and plonked himself down in the nearest chair.

“Guys, seriously you’re freaking me out a bit” he said with an awkward chuckle, “What’s wrong?”

 “Keith’s coming back.” Pidge said nervously and almost sadly.

“What, wait are you serious!”

Pidge nodded before continuing, “We aren’t sure really why, all we know is that he’s coming on our mission today with us and that he should be arriving in about an hour.”

Lance felt his stomach twist with nerves. No no no, he was not ready to see Keith again, especially after how they had ended on such bad terms. And why was he only finding out now that Keith was coming back, and in an hour no less!

As if he read his mind Hunk said softly, “Hey man, we only found out a few minutes ago, I’m sorry.”

Lance waved him off, too shocked to speak and got up abruptly, pointing in the direction of his room. Hunk and Pidge nodded, understanding what he meant, concern written all over their faces, and Lance fled straight to his room.

 

_And I can not change you, so I must replace you_

Lance ran in and felt the door shutting behind him, and then leant against it, slowly sliding his body down until he reached the floor. He covered his face with his hands and let out a sob.

Lance was just starting, _just_ starting, to get over Keith, and was finding ways to heal. He had been replacing the Keith shaped hole in his heart with training, and fighting, channelling all his pain, grief and anger into defeating the Galra. And now with Keith coming back it was all for nothing.

He let out another sob, feeling the anxious ball in his chest tighten. Why, why , why on earth was Keith coming back, Voltron didn’t need him at all. The mission they were going on today was a standard mission, nothing out of the ordinary. It made no sense.

Quiznack, he was in no shape to see Keith. If this was how he was reacting at the thought of Keith returning, how will he react when he actually sees him. Keith had been gone for almost a year, and they had been broken up for almost three months. The pain was too fresh.

Lance managed to calm himself down, and got up off the floor shakenly, walking over to his bathroom. The light automatically turned on as he entered, and he went over to the sink, letting out a stream of water. He splashed his face a few times and looked up into the mirror. He whispered words of encouragement to himself, before he heard Coran on the speaker telling everyone to come down the control room. It was now or never.

When Lance arrived, as per usual, he was the last there. He could see everyone standing around the big screen, looking at what was supposedly the layout of the planet they were infiltrating. And then he saw him. From where he was standing, Lance could only see the back of him, but he knew that mullet anywhere. Keith looked around the same height, but was his mullet longer? It definitely was. He also looked buffer, a bit more grizzled. Lance swallowed down the lump in his throat and walked in.

“Oh Lance, there you are!” Allura said as he walked up to them, “We were just getting started! You haven’t missed much.”

Lance mumbled out an apology and started at the screen. Allura started talking again, and Lance did his best to listen and focus but he could feel everyone’s eyes on him, especially Keith’s.

“Ok Paladins, so as you all are aware today we are going to the planet Ingsoc. It’s a base for the Galra that is also acting as a small prison, housing five inmates. Here is the layout of the base.” Allura said pointing at the screen.

“We will have two teams, Lance, Hunk and me as one, and Shiro and Pidge as another. My team’s objective is to free the prisoners, Shiro and Pidge, you two are to hack into the database, and get as much information as possible about Zarkon’s next move.”

Allura turned to Keith who was standing next to her, and signalled him to speak.

“I’m um going to erase information that the base has on the Blade of Marmora,” Keith said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, “Kolivan heard about you guys going in and he thought it would save time and manpower if I just dropped in with you guys. Don’t worry I won’t be getting in your way.”

Lance felt relief wash over him. So Keith was only being dropped in with them, and coming back out with them, that meant Lance would barely have to interact with him. Thank God.

“It’s um really nice seeing you guys again.” Keith continued, “I haven’t seen you guys in a while, I missed all of you a lot.”

Everyone began welcoming Keith back, saying how they missed him to and how happy they were to see him again. Lance said nothing.

 

_Easier said than done, I thought you were the one._

Lance knew he should say something, anything, but seeing Keith again brought back too many memories of a time long gone. Happy mornings spent cuddling in bed, busy days spent training together, or fighting along side each other as a team. More relaxed days spent messing in the pool, or playing video games, nights spending smiling and whispering secrets, stories and fears to each other.

He mourned what they once had. How was it that someone he had loved so much, _still_ loved so much, could turn into someone he didn’t know at all? Someone he had told everything to, someone he trusted, someone he confided in, was now completely lost to him. Lance thought Keith was the one. He thought that he would spent the rest of his life with Keith. How did it come to this? The two of them standing in the same room, not talking or looking at each other? It broke his heart all over again.

Lance was pulled back to reality by Allura shutting down the screen. While he had been lost in his thoughts she had been explaining more of the plan. _Shit._

“All right now that the plan has been gone over, head to the hangar, we’ll be leaving soon”

Everyone started shuffling out of the room, and at this moment Lance decided to sneak a look at Keith, who decided to do the exact same thing. Lance stared at Keith for a few seconds and Keith looked back at him, his deep, violet- grey eyes cutting into right into his heart. Keith opened his mouth, as if to say something. Lance drew in a quick, nervous breath and broke eye-contact, booking it out of the room, heading straight towards the hangar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed! stay tuned for the next update! Comments and kudos are so so so appreciated :).
> 
> ( also if anyone catches the reference to 1984 go u!!)
> 
> Also am crying the author of the Klible has given up on Klance :’(

**Author's Note:**

> hope u enjoyed!! comments and kudos greatly greatly appreciated :D
> 
> Angsty ik but I’ve given up on klance only sad stuff for me from now on yay :(
> 
> like season 7 sucked ass and i depise allurance and kacxa ew ew ew but they will probably be endgame :(


End file.
